


Never before

by Ex-Genesis (orphan_account)



Category: Disney RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-26
Updated: 2010-06-26
Packaged: 2017-11-12 15:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Ex-Genesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe's got a proposal, not one with a ring. It's just that Nick's been a jerk, and so has Joe, and they really need to fix it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never before

"Nicky... I feel like there's a distance between us." Nick snorted. Joe had one leg in between his own, his arms were folded over Nick's chest with his chin resting on top of his layered hands. "I meant mentally," Joe said, rolling his eyes, "Don't be such a jerk."  
  
Sighing, Nick removed one of the hands from behind his head, carded his fingers through Joe's hair, and then put it back where it had been previously, interlocked fingers, palms open and back of head nestled in the seam. "It's been busy...."  
  
Turning his head, Joe placed his cheek on top of his hands and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply and then breathing out a slightly frustrated, "I know. Nick, you make it sound like I'm stupid. I'm here you know? In the band. I  _know_  we're busy." Before Nick had time to think it over, realize how lame he was being, and apologize, Joe continued. "But, that was a good example. Not that you aren't always slightly demeaning; you are. It's just not quite so much, and I've honestly never felt more like you really believed what you were implying."  
  
Again, before Nick had time to counter with anything, and before he had the chance to point out Joe's faults (Joe could tell Nick's jaw had dropped to say something, because it was Nick and Nick didn't shut up until he got his way), Joe continued. "I haven't been the best either. I know. I've been late every time you  _texted_  me-"  
  
"We've always texted. Don't even try to use that to make a point, Joseph," Nick warned, but there wasn't very much of an edge to his voice. No matter how much they wanted to, they rarely let their anger ease into their voices (unless it was meant to be playful, even if it was a serious moment; they were  _always_  playful in  _every_  situation), because they both knew that their voices were something that carried them to a different plane to each other. For them - there was a reason they sounded better when they were singing together. It was something of an extra bond to them, sacred even. They didn't want to corrupt it.  
  
"- to come see something," Joe continued, as if Nick hadn't said a word, but the kiss he dropped to Nick's t-shirt-covered belly beforehand was a sign of both acknowledgment and apology. "Also... I've been taking your stuff without asking - thanks for catching me every time, by the way - and that's really annoying. And I stopped waking up with you and brushing my teeth and hair with you to go running instead." He felt Nick tense under him a little. Joe knew. He knew that Nick didn't like to express himself very much through talking, but there were certain things, things that made him seem mushy, that he would never admit to, that were important to him.  
  
Especially their mornings together. Joe didn't know why, the first day he did it, he went to run instead. He just did, and then he did again, and again. Nick never said anything, but Joe could always see it had frazzled his little brother. Never apologizing or telling Nick, he kept doing it. Selfish reasons, no reason, something. At this very moment, he still didn't know why, Maybe he liked to know that as much as Nick hurt him when Nick didn't pay him enough attention or credit, that he could hurt Nick just as well. It made them even. Unfortunately even.  
  
Feeling Nick still hardened under him, muscles tense, Joe opened his eyes, lifted his head and used his foot to push him forward. He placed a kiss to Nick's cheek while using one of his hands to draw a loose pattern over his chest. "I'm sorry..." Joe whispered sincerely, for the running, leaving Nick without one of his most prized pieces of their relationship. He felt it as Nick melted beneath him, relaxed again, but he was wary until Nick's eyes peeked at him from the corners, and then he grinned, and then Nick grinned, and Joe was forgiven.  
  
"Anyway." Joe said, laying his head on Nick's shoulder, one arm between his body and his brothers', one arm laying across Nick's stomach, "I came up with an idea. Well, sort of. It was inspired." He didn't need to see Nick's face to be sure Nick was asking  _how_ , exactly Joe had stumbled upon this inspiration. "I was listening to a song," he answered. "So what I was thinking was this: Tomorrow we have a pretty laid back day. Just like one interview, and then later the show. Well, tomorrow when we wake up, we're strangers. Well, not right away, I guess, because that'd be a little  _What Happens in Vegas_ ."  
  
Cutting in, Nick asked with a slight frown, " _Joe_ , what are you  _talking_  about?"  
  
"I'm getting to that, Nicky. Be patient," Joe mildly scolded. "As I was saying, when we split up, like when one of us goes down to the lobby first, and the other finishes getting ready, that's when it happens."  
  
"When  _what_  happens?"  
  
Sighing because Nick just really didn't understand anything anymore, when it would have at least partly clicked by now not two, maybe three months ago, Joe answered, "When we stop being related. Stop knowing the other exists. Then, when the other of us comes down, we'll meet. For the first time."  
  
There were an entire couple of minutes of silence, and Joe smiled, proud of himself, knowing Nick just  _had_  to be forming it in his mind, thinking it was the best idea ever. Then the next second Joe's ears rang with, "Joe that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in my entire life!" With that, Joe rolled away from Nick, and Nick, brows furrowed at the lack of  _Joe_  on his body, rolled away too, and they both slept rather uncomfortably.  
  
-  
  
The decision might have been made sometime in the middle of the night as he slept, or it could have been the second he opened his eyes to Joe's face that morning. Either way, Nick felt the need to make up for the part of this mess he'd made. Plus, maybe Joe's idea would work. He wasn't sure how, but despite always feeling pompous toward Joe, and making fun of his older brother, he knew he was really intelligent, and if Joe thought this becoming-strangers thing would work, then maybe it would. He let his eye lids fall again and pretended to sleep until he heard the shower going. Nick took that first moment to look at the clock. Joe wasn't going running... It took all of his effort to remain in bed until Joe was walking out. He had to rush through getting ready and all the while being completely frustrated with the fact he had to give up his possibility of a perfect morning. It was while he brushed his teeth that he argued with himself that Joe would definitely still be mad about last night, so his morning wouldn't have gone well anyway, but it was still... Nick could hardly shake it.  
  
Only a few floors up from the lobby, Nick decided to take the stairs down so that he could get his head in the game. He'd only had about twenty minutes and then about fifteen more after that to think about how the day was going to go and how he was going to act like he didn't know Joe. Most of those minutes had been spent missing Joe more than anything, and it hadn't accomplished much. It was okay though; he worked well under pressure. Breathing in and out steadily as he descended, Nick shook his head as he reached the final flight of the red-carpeted staircase. He looked up immediately to see Joe and Kevin standing about fifteen feet from their dad and Rob. Joe was eying him, glaring at him actually, and Nick felt like slinking over toward his dad to talk business or something instead of going through with this.  
  
This was for Joe though, so he squared his shoulders a little and eyed Joe back as if he were studying him. Joe looked away eventually and tried to act like he heard the last thing Kevin said. Nick's eyes were narrowed slightly when he stood in front of Joe, but he cleared his throat, gaining Joe's attention before speaking. "Um... Sorry to bother you but - Well, as I was coming down from my room," Nick said, ignoring Kevin's expression of curious confusion as he went, "I couldn't help but notice that it looked like you were glaring at me..."  
  
Taking a moment to put it all together, Joe realized from Nick's stance apart from them, from the tone, and his word choice, exactly what he was doing. A smile flashed quickly across his face, in his eyes, and Nick tried desperately not to smile warmly at the reaction. Joe cleared his throat then and all recognition left his face, but he didn't look at all angry anymore. "Oh no... Sorry. I just have a  - uh staring problem. Sorry for the confusion man..." he said, holding his palm down, out in front of him. Nick put his palm face up beneath and let Joe slap their hands together in a friendly gesture.  
  
"It's all right. I just wanted to make sure I didn't..." Nick trailed off trying to think of what exactly a stranger might have done to another to earn a glare without even realizing it. He couldn't come up with anything completely logical but Joe was biting his lip for Nick, and he exhaled a little peeved at his brain. "Take the room you wanted, or something," he finished lamely, but Joe looked appreciative at his attempt.  
  
Face smooth of lines, Kevin shifted on his feet a little, putting a hand on Nick's shoulder, and Nick offered him a sympathetic smile, but nothing more before Kevin dropped his arm away. "Okay then..." he said, before walking away. Joe had to cover his nose and mouth with one hand to keep from laughing, but straightened out as soon as Nick looked around hesitantly.  
  
Shaking his head, Joe offered a friendly smile. "Nah, man, sorry about that, really. - Can I ask you a question though?" Nick nodded, but looked a little apprehensive. "It's nothing personal... I don't think," Joe tagged on, hoping to make this 'stranger' more comfortable. It seemed to work as Nick allowed his shoulders to drop a little, relaxing. "Why were you taking the  stairs? Claustrophobic, or just...?"  
  
"Oh, exercise." Nick patted his belly and couldn't help the blush that crept on his cheeks. This was more humiliating than he had expected it to be. He kind of understood the purpose of this though... He had to re-evaluate his place in Joe's life, and starting over meant he had to find understanding and become comfortable with Joe again. He already missed everything they used to be, and guilt definitely began gnawing at him for beginning to take Joe for granted.  
  
"I don't know. You look pretty good to me," Joe said, causing a few of Nick's nerves to jump in his stomach. Ridiculous. Joe was just fl- Joe was totally flirting with him, sort of. Maybe. It was really confusing actually. A guy is allowed to say another guy looks fit, right? And it doesn't constitute as flirting. Neither he nor Joe were really into guys anyway... So Joe  _wasn't_  flirting with him. But how would he know that if he didn't know Joe?  
  
Trying to figure it all out, Nick looked younger than his age, like a five-year-old trying to figure out why they weren't allowed to kiss one of the girls in their class. Completely innocent and not knowing all of the facts. It may have made Joe melt, but he couldn't show that. "Um," Nick said finally, his eyes tight in hesitance, trying not to step where he shouldn't tread, "Thanks." After a second, he held out his hand. "My name is Nick, by the way."  
  
Smiling, Joe took the offer and shook his little brother's hand. "I'm Joe. Nice to meet you, Nick."  
  
Nick's stomach dropped a little. He didn't like not knowing Joe. It was weird and wrong, but Joe seemed to be okay with it, and he was, so Nick kept on. "Yeah. yeah, you-" Their father interrupted then, calling them to the car. Joe raised his eyebrows a little, and Nick coughed into his fist.  
  
"Nick, I was thinking... Are you headed anywhere downtown, because you could share a car with me and my family?" Nick could have laughed. Joe got to have his whole family. Nick supposed that was just another sacrifice he had made by letting Joe go ahead of him. Sighing, trying to make it affect him less, Nick rubbed at his forehead.  
  
"Joe we-" he caught his older brother's warning eyes and immediately changed his response, "'ll definitely do that. That's a great idea, and very generous of you. Thank you," he said, tone questioning, seeking Joe's confirmation that he'd made the right move. When his brother's eyes brightened, he knew he had. Fixing the cuffs at the end of his shirt, Nick tried to make sure one last time that he looked presentable enough to do an interview.  
  
A short laugh and then Joe asked, "Big meeting today?" as they walked out of the hotel to the car they would share. Nick tilted his head to the side for a moment before turning back to Joe, a half-smile on his face.  
  
"Something like that. Do you - uh, travel a lot?" he asked as Joe allowed him to situate himself in the middle seat before Joe followed him and sat at his side in the same row. Their dad was too busy on the phone or talking to Rob, or shouting things back to Kevin to allow himself to be bothered by whatever Joe and Nick were going on about. Joe snorted at that before running his fingers through one area of his hair, fingers pulling through the wave without catching a knot. He nodded then, looking at Nick as he laid his arm across the back of the car seat. "Me too," Nick said in monotone.  
  
"I'm a singer," Joe informed Nick, tapping his fingers to an invisible tune along the seam behind Nick's head. Nick smiled at that, laughed a little, turning his head. Joe looked then, looking Nick in the eye and smiled back sincerely. "What? You don't think I look like a singer?"  
  
"No, no, it's not that..." Nick laughed, a little surprised at how much easier it was becoming just because Joe had brought music into it. "I'm a singer too," he explained, turning in his seat, one leg bent up on the cushion so he could face Joe better, his older brother turning similarly to face him. Joe gave him a really well-placed stunned expression, asking silently, 'Wow. Really? That's crazy.' Nick nodded in response. "For a few years now. It's... really something," Nick said honestly, almost a little wistful like not knowing Joe anymore meant none of it really happened, and he got to look on it like it was all just a dream. "I'm just glad I don't have to -" Nick realized what he was about to say and he wasn't sure if he would be breaking a rule or not. Were there even rules? He didn't know, but Joe was looking at him expectantly, so he swallowed and continued. "Glad I don't have to do it alone. I've got a great team around me all the time. They help. A lot. And you... obviously have your family with you. That must be great!"  
  
Joe nodded, smiling, but his eyes had a deep, warmth to them, and Nick wanted to tell him he was breaking character or something, but he couldn't, knowing within that second of looking at Joe and seeing _that_ , he'd probably just broken character too. After a few moments of talking mixed with comfortable silence, the car pulled up to the building where they would be doing an interview, and a short photo session. Before getting out of the car, Joe and Nick looked at each other knowing that for the next hour, they wouldn't talk, wouldn't be able to talk to each other without ruining the rest of the day, both looking a little sad for it, but confident.  
  
Taking one last chance, Joe, held out his hand again, and as Nick shook it, he asked, "Hey, if I see you around the hotel later, let's get something to eat. How's that sound?" Nick nodded gratefully, and his cheeks heated up even more as he realized he was blushing, holding Joe's hand longer than what would be considered normal. Kevin cleared his throat in the seat behind them, pushing them into action. Once they crawled out of the car, they were a mixture of shared genes and total strangers, an awkward place to be, and neither of them knew how to settle in, so Kevin stepped in, settling himself between them, which made him feel awkward, but they both seemed more at comfort with it, so he stayed.


End file.
